It's been a while but I still hate Unicorns

And ponies.
And horses.
And donkeys.
And mules.
And stallions.
And asses (except on chicks).
And broncos.
And colts.
And Quidditch, I fucking hate that too.
And nags.
And stallions.
And mares.
And mustangs (both the horse and the car).
And zebras.

Fuck all of you.

Why unicorns suck!

Many of my followers ask why I hate unicorns so much; so, tosave you all the trouble of asking I have compiled a list of "10 Good Enough Reasons to Hate Unicorns" and here it is:

"10 GOOD ENOUGH REASONS TO HATE UNICORNS"

1.

Do unicorns even have genders? My understanding is that all unicorns are boy-unicorns and so, by default, are all gay! Also,how the fuck do they reproduce?

2.

They are in league with the anti-christ

3.

They have inspired a pussy-whipped movie which goes something like this:

"A brave unicorn and a magician fight an evil king who is obsessed with attempting to capture the world's unicorns. They love, they sing, and delight young audiences with their whimsical manner, subsequently mind fucking our children into believing just about anything"

Don't get sucked in with their 'Uni-Propaganda' !!

4.

They have their own clothing line
MIND FUCK ALERT!!!
(which has an entire generation confused about their sexuality!)

5.
They support U.S. politics








6.
They are the natural enemy of the 'Evil-nosed dolphin'

7.
THEY EAT CHILDREN !!
(even the one's without toss-looking 'lightning bolt' scars)









8.
Unicorn porn is nasty!









9.
Their cruelty extends far beyond you mere mortals.









10.
Statistically, unicorns are responsible for more
WTF!? moments than any other albino animals

And that is why Unicorns should always be feared! But never fear [anything but me!] I am doing my part to rid the world of these tyrants!!

Next time you see a unicorn, tell your Uncle V. about it and I will do the rest.

DEATH TO ALL UNICORNS!!

know your unicorns:

What would Voldemort do?

Have you ever been stuck in a situation where you just didn't know what to do?
Next time that happens stop and ask yourself: What Would Voldemort Do?

I hate unicorns (it's no secret), those ice-cream stealing, chest impaling love children of albino horses are nothing but trouble!

So next time you find that a unicorn is stealing your ice lollies, ask yourself: WWVD?
I would kill, nay, OBLITERATE the fucker! I'd drink its blood and use its horn for my more 'grotesque' hobbies (yes, I'm that evil!)



So my followers, next time you have an unsolvable dilemma ask yourself (better yet, ask me) WWVD?

I will post your seemingly impossible problems (along with my own seemingly malignant responses) here for all my followers to read and learn from.

Hugs & Kisses
You lord and master
Lord Voldemort

P.S. Remember: WWVD?

TREMBLE IN FEAR, Voldemort is here!!!

Greatings (which is like 'Greetings' but way more evil) Muggles...

I am your new lord and master; bow down before the one you serve!!

This blog - this evil blog - contains my most intimate thoughts (and stuff) that only my most evilest (yes it's a word...so fuck you!) subjects can read *rubs hands in menacing way and laughs derisively at everyone*

So if you are reading this then you have been chosen by your Lord and Master (and all-round 'nice guy') LORD VOLDEMORT, so feel great and feel evil and keep reading.......or die (forever!)

Whips and kisses
Uncle Vordi